Wednesday, February 11, 2009

ahh another week, another lost recap.

Please keep in mind that these are spoilers for last week AND This week.

Jack & Claire, Siblings.
I established this theory
Way in season 1

A boat with Jack, Kate.
SINK BOAT SINK! Please? DAMMIT!
Why didn't it sink!

If it shuts Kate up
Give her the damned baby, Jack, please?
Poor Aaron. He's doomed.

Three years later now
Sun dresses Kate up really well
Sun, Kate BFF

What's in the package?
It's a gun! My favourite!
Valentine candy.

Aaaaand Charlotte's down, out.
Blood goatee for Charlotte, right?
Things not so good here

L&O:LA
Kate's not Angelina, see?
No vials of blood.

Locke knows all, death looms.
Charlotte's got AMNESIA now
Soap opera time!

Sayid's Hospital
Some guy stops in to visit.
Sayid is NINJA

Dust mops on the darts
Sayid: FLAWLESS VICTORY
Dude was stalking Kate.

Kate, answer the phone.
We also hate Jack; understand.
This is important.

Hunting the Orchid
Shh, be vewwy vewwy quiet.
Flashy time again.

Miles is next, damn.
Wait a tick, he's Candle's kid.
No wonder he's sick.

Flash to Claire torture
That's when Kate broke tiny booze!
Sawyer loves Kate, boo.

Kate is crying, shock.
Wait, Jack hasn't cried yet.
Jack's truck is awesome.

Everyone and dog
They are gone from beach, no beer
Canoes appeared though.

Open water canoes
SOmeone shoots at them. PADDLE!
Juliet shoots, scores.

Sawyer wants a flash.
You can't always get it right.
Giant frakkin storm!

Claire's mom in LA.
Aaron who? Communism!
Australian herring

Uh oh, it's a trap!
A Rousseau trap and I CALLED IT.
No, see, there she IS!

Man overboard! SPlash!
Wait wait that guy is JIN!
Jin is SO ALIVE!

(This haiku needs a lot of these:
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Rousseau was knocked up
So her bb could survive
Crazy French lady!


Ok, and round two.


Ok, tonight I kept doing two things, which you will see reflected in the haikus. One is Arrested Development, and the other is Star Trek. And if you watch either show, you'll know exactly what I mean!

Sun's phone rings. Annyong.
Ji Yeon & Aaron, friends!
Annyong, Ji Yeon!

Ben whips out lgic
Jin's still alive he tells Sun
Staves off death a bit.

Look, there he is! Live!
Oh the numbers on radio
Let's find the tower.

(On second thought, let's not find the tower, tis a silly place.)

Jin's not a tracker
Logic is theme tonight.
March through the jungle.

Here we go again.
Nadie est disparu, NON :(
Jin says, "RUN AWAY!"

Think we found Nadine.
Annoying guy's a goner.
He left us an arm.

Everyone's dumb.
Going down the hole, great plan.
Flash time; Bye Rousseau!

Egyptian glyphs marked
Also someone left the arm there.
Where is the Rousseau?

Smoke on the waterrrrrrrrrrr.
Jin goes to investigate.
Finds the music box.

(Too bad it wasn't playing Deep Purple....or as we'll see, Journey ;)

Rousseau! Bury your dead!
This? why we can't have nice things!
She shoots husband dead.

Crazy French Lady!
Oh, don't ever change, Rousseau.
Jin runs far away.

Flash! Cock of a gun.
Hey it's Sawyer! JIN! Sawyer!
Brothers gotta hug!

Charlotte understands.
Everyone thinks Miles does.
He's from Encino.

Kate sneaks off.
Liar Liar PANTS ON FIRE.
Jack, I mean you there.

Group therapy fails.
Sayid threatens Ben AND Jack.
Bout time someone did.

Time to get in van!
We're off to Faraday!
Sun: Shotgun, No Blitz.

Jin wants to go with
Locke vetoes Jin's good idea
Claims it's a one man job

Charlotte speaks Klingon
Endears herself to Kristen.
She's one of us now.

Charlotte is prophet
This place is death, she exclaims.
HEY! That's the title.

(Otherwise known as Charlotte cheats.)

Sawyer's turn to bleed!
Wait, why Sawyer, and not Locke?
Or why not Jin too?

Jack needs to SHUT UP.
Don't make me pull over here.
Leave Ben alone guys!

See, Ben protector.
He had Sayid off bad guys.
That's a lot of work.

Leave Charlotte Behind.
She says to look for the well.
Daniel stays with her.

They find the Orchid.
Look, it's there, says Juliet.
Well, guess what happens.

Flash, Orchid is gone.
Charlotte's wheel well is here.
Locke's gonna climb down.

Charlotte is Dharma.
The Quest to Find the Island.
Indiana Jones

Oh snap, Daniel's mean.
He told her to get away.
Dan hasn't done it.

No Dharma Subway.
Five dollar, five dollar subs.
Wait, sorry, wrong song.

Locke starts to go off.
The rules I just made up tell me
I have to get them.

Jin gives Locke the ring.
One ring to rule them all. Wait.
Tell Sun I am dead.

Locke can't climb rope.
Missed that Class at Outback School.
Gonna get ROPE BURNED

flash of light again
Sawyer tries to dig a hole
Going to China.

Charlotte is no more
Quick, Daniel, Klingon death scream.
She gets Sto'Vo'Kor.

Locke's down the wheel well.
he's got more stuff in his leg.
Oh, Hi Christian.

(At least I didn't scream this time when I saw him. Bastard. Always sneaking up on me.)

Harbinger of Death.
Locke has to move the island.
Ben tried, failed badly.

Look, it's off kilter!
Wheel in the hole keeps turning
No wonder it flashes.

Locke gotta find her.
the rat's named for his mom, see?
Very popular.

(This one is kind of rushed, but I couldn't find a way to do these three things better. Can you?)

Christian, help me up!
Locke's fallen and he can't get up.
He's a dickish ghost.

2 comments:

Ryan W said...

I found your blog by searching people who like Firefly and stopped on your blog when I saw "Journey, fuck yeah Journey" or something to that effect. Then I read a short piece that mixes in Sto-Vo-Kor and "Wheel in the hole keeps turning"...

Brilliant.

fleurdelista said...

haha, thanks :D