Wednesday, December 30, 2009

end of the year revizzle.

I'm almost finished with the first book of my novel! I just have to finish writing it up and then I'll print it out to hand-edit it. I find having a paper thing to correct/fix/rewrite makes me feel a lot better. It's how I do the original writing, on a yellow legal pad. Usually sitting out on the lawn with a soda in hand. But delicious nonetheless.

I decided to do one of those memes that everyone else is doing, so here goes:

1) Was 2009 a good year for you?
It was a pretty good year. Not the best, but not nearly as bad as everyone else had it.

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
Julie's wedding, hands down. I had such an amazing time.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
I can't think of anything really too awful. Maybe there were a few times at work, but I don't even remember them.

4) Where were you when 2009 began?
Either at home or at Laurie's. I don't really remember. But not from drinking, I assure you.

5) Who were you with?
I uh, really don't remember. I suspect I was at my house by myself.

6) Where will you be when 2009 ends?
Great Escape!

7) Who will you be with when 2009 ends?
Wendy, Tom, and Laurie.

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2009?
Not really, no. But I made actual concrete plans to get those resolutions under way.

15) Did you break up with anyone in 2009?

16) Did you make any new friends in 2009?
Yes! Emma, Melissa, all the wonderful girls at Colonie Center, all the new girls at Crossgates. I'm absolutely forgetting some people, but as usual I liked pretty damned well everyone I met.

17) Who are your favorite new friends?
Hmm, I don't like choosing. But was a blast when she was here. I miss her!

18) What was your favorite month of 2009?
July was super amazing.

19) Did you go abroad in 2009?
As usual, I went to Canada.

20) How many different states did you travel to in 2009?
um, I think I just went to New Jersey this year. And that was only via bus stopping in NJ. I did go to Ontario and Quebec though.

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2009?
Thank god, no one died. I did lose a close friend, but I feel that was for the best.

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
Yes. All of you, you know who you are. Especially Theresa all the way out in Japan.

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2009?
Star Trek!

24) What was your favorite album from 2009?
I liked The Ting Tings' CD, but I also really liked Mika's new album.

26) How many concerts did you see in 2009?
4, I think, if I recall correctly. 1) Tom McRae in New York; 2) The Tragically Hip here in Albany; 3) Laura Pausini in Montreal; 4) Mike Doughty in Troy.

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2009?
I'm not gonna choose. I loved Laura, the chance to see her live was like a dream come true. The Hip put on an amazing show as always and I got to meet all of them and Mike Doughty at their shows. And Tom McRae was fun as well. So no, no dice.

28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009?
Only when I went out. That was like twice and I believe both times were Jen's fault ;)

29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2009?
I did the exact opposite -- Zero.

30) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Not that I recall.

32) What was the biggest lie you told in 2009?
I don't lie anymore. I do not recall telling any in 2009.

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2009?
That someone was my friend when she really wasn't.

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2009?
Not intentionally, but if I did, I really am sorry. I don't mean to do it.

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2009?
Oh quite possibly.

36) How much money did you spend in 2009?
LOL, most of it.

37) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009?
Either when I fell off the ladder at work, or when I dropped the bottle of ice wine in a crowded pharmacy in Montréal. I'm gonna go with the former cause I'll never see any of those people again.

38.) What is one thing you did in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Went to Canada and stayed overnight by myself.

39.) Did someone close to you give birth?
Christine did. My sister will next year.

40.) What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
My Peace Corps application completed.

41.) What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Heather's wedding June 6, 2009; Julie's wedding July 4, 2009.

42.) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I got a temporary promotion to work at the Colonie store this summer.

43.) What was your biggest failure?
Not finishing anything I started, be it Peace Corps application or getting my finances in order.

44.) Did you suffer illness or injury?
I fell off a ladder, whacked my wrist, and couldn't use it for a week and a half. I caught a nasty plague right around Thanksgiving and couldn't speak or stop coughing for a week.

45.) What was the best thing you bought?
My digital camera and my tickets to Laura Pausini. <3

46.) Whose behavior merited celebration?
Most of my friends'.

47.) Whose behavior made you appalled?
A certain ex-friend who remains nameless.

48.) Where did most of your money go?
Rent, trips. LOVE it.

49.) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Julie's wedding; Laura Pausini concert.

50.) Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or hardened?

b) thinner or fatter?

c) richer or poorer?
Hmm, about even.

51.) What do you wish you'd done more of?

52.) What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sitting on my ass.

53.) How will you be spending Christmas?
Spent Christmas with my parents, siblings, and niece.

54.) Did you fall in love in 2009?

55.) Any one-night stands?

56.) What was your favorite TV program?
NCIS, Battlestar Galactica (RIP), Lost

57.) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't hate people. I just choose not to speak to them or have anything to do with them. Life's too short for that.

58.) What was the best book you read?
Hmm, I loved the Kushiel series. We'll go with that.

59.) What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Ting Tings. That's about it, I've been out of the musical loop.

60.) What did you want and get?
A new digital camera.

61.) What did you want and not get?

62.) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Justin, Kim, and I went to Golden Dragon for our birthdays and I was 27.

63.) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having my finances in order and my Peace Corps application processing.

64.) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Go to my store, buy off rack. Done.

65.) What kept you sane?
Lol, Sanity. Actually, reading did. I make sure to have a new book.

66.) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I'm a proud member of the Cavillry (Henry Cavill).

67.) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Life's too short to hold grudges. Let them go, and you'll be happier.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Audience participation time.

Working on the book again, and I have a question.

I wonder if it's too odd/cliche to have a severely injured woman slip away from the bodyguard and her daughter and have one of the following options happen to her:

1) She jumps off a cliff to end her life
2) She surrenders to the people chasing them, and dies in their custody. Daughter and bodyguard escape to safehouse
3) She disappears and is never seen again.

For the purposes of the story -- the daughter is the scion of a fallen house, and the bodyguard is smuggling her and her followers off-world.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Incredibly real-feeling dream I just had

Ok, so for some reason I was in Ottawa in the summer. I think I was just outside of Parliament, but near a bank of some sort. I saw this bus or taxi crash into the marble front of the bank. As I stood there, while it was on ffire, I saw this helicopter flying over the river, but it was a helicopter towing a tractor trailer, but it wasn't. I pulled out my camera and filmed it as it exploded and crashed down to earth fifty feet away from me, near where the taxi accident had been.

Turns out the helicopter was a flying saucer and it had aliens in it. But nobody survived either accident. Then I went and caught my bus back to the US and this dude kept following me, real creepy like. He was there one minute and not the next. Then he revealed that he was a vampire, and I told him to GTFO. A big wrestler type dude, complete with singlet and messed up hair came over and removed him.

I got to customs and another creepy dude was there. He was following me too. And I explained to the customs lady what I had been doing in Ottawa, and got on the bus. Creepy #2 wasn't with me. I got back to Albany and into my room and in bed, and I got up because I heard a noise. And the lights wouldn't flip on, so I opened the window to the streetlights and saw the two creepsters hanging out in my room. "It's not gonna work," Creepy #1 said. I yelled for the Wrestler guy and he took Creepy #1 out.

"You can't get rid of both of us that easily," Creepy #2 said. And then I heard a knock on my door and I woke up.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Today I did nothing.

And yet in the spirit of making sure I update you on the minutiae of my life every day, I am going to post.

Today I spent a goodly amount of time in front of the TV or the computer. Actually both. I was going to do stuff but then I realized I didn't have to, which made me happy. I didn't have to call the landlady -- she cashed my check the 11th but it didn't show up in my online banking til the 17th, wtf. I love my bank but it is SLOOOOOOOOOOOWER than molasses* when updating online banking. But it instantly knows when someone tries to log onto my account from another country. Whatever, HSBC ;)

Anyway, what did I do today? I bet you are all just DYING to know. I'm not. But I put up the rest of my Christmas lights. This was accompanied by a lot of cursing. See, I went outside, but like a smart person I did not put on a coat. I wore a hoodie and jeans outside and kept yelling "FUCK IT'S COLD OUT HERE" approximately every thirty seconds. But I accomplished my task! I nearly put my foot through a folding chair though. That was fun. Except the exact opposite. This was also accompanied by a chorus of obscenities. "Fuck, fucking chair fuck you, fuck." And the dude walking by chatting on his phone didn't notice, so I declared victory.

So after that I went inside and watched TV til it got dark and then I decided I really wanted to go to the store to get something for dinner -- nothing I had was really floating my boat. I got to the end of the block before I decided it wasn't worth it. It was booger-freezing weather, something I hadn't encountered since I was taking finals at SLU. Goddamn no I wasn't going to walk the half mile to the grocery store and back in that shit. Go ahead, take away my cold sensitivity card, but I went inside and made hot chocolate and that was more awesome than yelling at the wind to stop blowing.

So then I made dinner and I watched more TV. This cold case detective solved the Jack the Ripper killings, or so he believes. I thought it was kind of neat -- he started out trying to solve these hundred year old cases in NYC and linked them to the Ripper murders. Then it turns out that nobody had apparently bothered to read one of the main suspect's confessions for over eighty years. Not sure if it's legit or not, but it sure seems pretty convincing. Here, you can read up on Norris's suspect.

So then I came in here and surfed the internet some more and now I'm going to work on editing my book a bit so I can print it off and begin editing it by hand. Tomorrow is work and gift shopping day. Shooooot me.

*This is the only time molasses moved quickly.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

grab bag of notes

Today I accomplished a lot. I went to the bank with Kayla's kind assistance. I stopped over at Laura's house for my books, since I had them shipped there instead of my sketch neighbourhood. I did two loads of laundry. I even returned my cans and bottles and went grocery shopping.

Only failure in that is that I forgot to turn in my bottle redemtpion slips at checkout. Well to be fair, I was having to keep an eye on the cashier and the bagger. I handed them my recycleable bags (shut up, they're easier to carry than those plastic bags they give you), and told the guy one of them was the cold bag. So he proceds to put the milk, bread, and cereal in the cold bag, and the frozen pizzas and pot pies in the regular bag. How...does that even compute? Ahh well.

I watched the Thanksgiving episode of NCIS and let me tell you, I'm kind of disappointed with that episode. It just seemed a rehash of all the previous episodes involving children. For once I'd like a normal kid in an episode. We had Abigail Breslin as a blind hearing prodigy, we had the kid whose dad was a super genius, ad nauseum. I hope the Christmas episode wasn't as disappointing as that one. The Halloween episode and the power outage episodes were superb.

I haven't done a whit of Christmas shopping. I'm a failure in that department. It would help if I knew what to get people. I know what I want which I kind of failed to communicate (hint to siblings reading this to pass along to parentals): pajamas, a new sheet set, bookshelves, and possibly a new crockpot, cause the lid to mine got smashed this summer and I still don't know how.

So that's a random mix of update for you. Now I gotta put away my laundry so I can do more tomorrow. That and put up the rest of the Christmas décor. And clean the kitchen again. And I know I'm forgetting something. That is all.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Holocaust and a Soapbox

My cousin Kate posted this article on her twitter: Man snuck into Auschwitz during WWII. This guy kept sneaking in and getting the real scoop of what was going on inside the infamous concentration camp. He managed to save the life of one of the prisoners directly and probably helped boos the spirits of many more. What an amazing story.

Also, I would just like this opportunity to say: Holocaust deniers, you can suck it. There's gotta be a special level of hell for people like you. When I took a course on the Holocaust I was disgusted by how much denial propaganda was out there. There's obtuse and then there's being deliberately obtuse.

It bothers me both on a historian basis and more importantly on a personal basis that people would choose to blatantly ignore evidence of over six million people being murdered. It just undermines the sacrifices made by the dead and the survivors of those concentration camps. Even if it wasn't your own ethnicity forced into the camps, how can you not have compassion for those that were? I hope I never understand how someone can think like that.

Monday, December 14, 2009

My room is too small. My spoon on the other hand? Too big.

Tonight I got tired of squishing through my doorway because there is so much stuff behind the door. So I set out to clean up my room. Mission accomplished, but cleaning behind the door turned out to be the last thing I did.

Instead I finally put books on the bookshelf out in the living room. The entertainment center the boys left us has a side that is a bookshelf, and I kept saying, "Self, let's put thoe books there." Tonight I did.

As I went through my books it turns out that I have a handful of books I haven't read yet! This plus the six I ordered from Amazon will keep me in business for a while, and I'm stoked. I forgot that when I was packing to move to this place, I hit a $1 Bargain book sale at Borders, and I put those books right into the box when I got home. Forgot plum about them til I opened the box tonight to put them on the shelf. We'll see what quality they are and if there are any hidden gems (like Persepolis from an earlier batch).

I finished Shadow of the Wind and Meagan lent me Hush Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick. As I startd to read this one I had to flip to the first page for the publishing info because goddamn did it ever remind me of Twilight (which I haven't read yet). Slightly awkward girl finds herself the object of affection of a tall dark handsome new student. But there are people who don't want them to be together. Also, Nora, the heroine of the novel is raised by a single parent. And she lives in a tiny town in Maine, in a backwater town that is too small for its own good.

This isn't to say that the book was all bad, I enjoyed it! Nora does a lot of things on her own, and she actively takes part in trying to protect herself from the supernatural baddies that are around her. And her life doesn't revolve around the fallen vampireangel. It's a cute YA book -- if you're a fan of Twilight, or if you like fantasy you might find this a fun read.

Also going through my books I keep forgetting to review one of my other bargain books: The Wayward Muse by Elizabeth Hickey.
To be fair I only picked this one up because it name-dropped Dante Gabriel Rosetti, a name I vaguely remembered from a literature class I took at SLU. He was a painter and a poet. Hickey writes the story of his love affair with the wife of one of his friends, a model from a poor family. I liked this book enough, but I think if you pay for it you're wasting your money. It's a good story, and Jane is a relatable heroine, and the story is a remarkable one, but the characters never jump off the pages, and it just seems like you're reading an article on these two people.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

die in a fire

Well, really it's tomorrow already but I'm trying to make sure I have something to say everyday.

Tonight all I got is that my house is ridiculous. It was built way long ago (so long ago it has really funky light switches in the back of the house (I'll take photos for tomorrow's post). I suspect it was around before electricity became common place, because the outlets are ancient. Most of them cannot support the three prongs, and that makes life difficult in a technologic world. I'm absolutely certain that this place is doomed to end in a conflagration because the wiring is so out of date.

Sometimes when I run the microwave or the toaster oven the lights in the kitchen dim. I can't run the microwave and the popcorn maker at the same time, or both slow down. Sometimes plugging things in results in a large shock of electricity. And the lights have to be fiddled with in order to turn on occasionally. SO yes, death by fire. Wait, what was I going on about?

Oh, right. In my bedroom I have two outlets. One is by the door, and the other is behind my bed. WHy, you ask, would I block off a perfectly good outlet with my bed? I'll answer that. My room is TINY. There's a giant radiator that takes up a good two feet of the middle of one wall, and when the room is 7X7, that makes it really difficult to place anything without blocking the door or the radiator, once again causing a risk of death by fire.

My outlets are newer, as they support three prongs (Thank your deity of choice here). But I have to run an extension cord across the room to my computer in order to run it. Th extension cord in turn supports the surge protector. Greaaaaaat. Even more death by fire.

The point of all this is, I have to wait for one cell phone to finish charging in order to charge the other one because I have too much stuff plugged into one outlet. #firstworldproblems

Saturday, December 12, 2009

cheating is for losers

I find it kind of interesting this confluence of articles I came across yesterday. I was gonna post them then, but the 100k thing happened and I went with that instead.

I am certain that none of you live under a rock and know at least somewhat the situation with Tiger Woods lately. It's been pretty much everywhere lately, and it's an incredibly sad story.

I want to point out that everyone has been screaming for Elin Nordegren to divorce Tiger Woods over these allegations. Understandable, but it is her decision. If they work it out, the more power to them, but if not I don't blame her in the least for dumping him and taking his kids and money.

This leads to two other articles I read yesterday. I don't know if any of you remember the story of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. Sanford was the asshole who went missing for a few days "camping" in the Appalachians. Except by camping he meant flying. And instead of Appalachians, he meant Argentina. I can see how he got them confused. Except for the part where, once in Argentina he met up with his "soul mate" who he cheated on his wife with for several years.

Well, Mrs Sanford wasn't going to take this shit lying down. (Good on her!) She took their kids and moved out, and told her husband it was up to him to make the effort to rebuild their family. While he hemmed and hawed and told the media he was going to "try to fall back in love" with his wife, she kept on being a HBIC. And when she gave up on him, she dumped him and moved her things out of the Governor's Mansion. None of this stand by her man stuff. Love this woman.

So i switched from annoyed to happy and then to a complete WTF? when I read this article. The TTC (Toronto Transit Commission) rejected a huge advertising spread from Ashley Madison. Well, you say, why would they do that? 250k is a lot of money that could go to upgrades and maintenance! Well, when you realize that Ashley Madison is in fact a dating site that markets to people wanting to cheat on their significant others, you can see why they chose to reject that particular bid.

I adamantly refuse to link to Ashley Madison, so if you want to check them out, go ahead. But click the unfriend button first, thank you.

The CEO of the company then had the gall to say, "Nobody out there at the TTC should be creating morality judgments," he said. "They should be in the business of trying to operate transit lines." Sure, they're in the business of operating subways and stuff, but you're breaking up families.

Friday, December 11, 2009

love affair with music

I've been on since it was called Audioscrobbler. I have many good memories from this site -- I've always been interested in useless statistics, and the site provides that in spades. It records every song I've played since I started, with the exception of the time in the summer of 2008 when I was without internet access. If I had internet then, this post would have come much sooner.

For today, I reached 100,000 plays on Last.Fm. One thing I'm constantly amazed at is how well it knows me. My recommended radio is a wonderful blend of all the different stuff I listen to -- as wide and varied a list as my computer hard drive has. I've found so many useful things there. Last.Fm is where I found out that Laura Pausini would be in Montreal, and you know how that made my life. has also charted the change in my musical tastes over the years. It's fun to look at my charts and see what I listen to now as opposed to what I listened to even last year. I also try not to let one artist dominate the list now like Great Big Sea did for me early on. Not that there's anything wrong with that ;)

I've also discovered some new stuff solely from Last.Fm. I can't remember the names now, but I swear it's the case!

Remember, this is for posterity!

The final ten tracks to 100000:
10: After Forever - Silence from Afar
09: Laura Pausini - I Do to Be
08: Jolie Holland - Enjoy Yourself
07: Jimmy Eat World - The Middle
06: Nightwish - White Night Fantasy
05: Michael Bublé - Save the Last Dance for Me
04: Within Temptation - The Other Half (Of Me)
03: Alison Krauss - Down to the River to Pray (O Brother Where Art Thou)
02: Tragically Hip - Putting Down
01: Blackmore's Night - Windmills

So there you have it! :D

If we are not friends on we can become so: add me as metropolis-noir!

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Oh books.

If any of you need a really good, really creepy, one of those books that surprise you with every page, you NEED to read Carlos Ruiz Zafon's The Shadow of the Wind. It started out reminding me of Night Train to Lisbon but it took a very very twisted turn and I love it. I'm not finished with it, but I need to stress how impressed i am by this book. I got to a certain twist and that's when I got to the mall. I almost said, "Oh no" out loud! Then I had a few minutes to eat lunch before I started work and three pages later the book twisted again. But it was time for me to clock in. Damn you, book! And then on the way home it threw me another, albeit expected loop. Goddamn, I love this book so hard. BRB putting the rest of Zafon's books on my wishlist.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

too many books, too little time

I was skimming the spotlit community Bookfails earlier and it inspired me to think about what the worst books I ever read were.

Years ago I hated HATED HATED Jane Eyre. I hated that she got together with Rochester (SPOILERS!) in the end. It took reading The Eyre Affair for me to really like the book.

I also really hated The Old Man and the Sea. In fact, all of Hemingway is anathema to me. I've tried to read him, I really have, but I can't stand him. Also in the vein of great books that I should like but don't is The Grapes of Wrath. Steinbeck is good (I liked Of Mice and Men), but reading Wrath was like watching paint dry.

I try to finish every book I start whether it is worth my time or not. But I put down The Road by Cormac McCarthy sometime last year and I haven't picked it up since. With the movie coming out I might be inclined to finish it, but it's just so damned DEPRESSING that I can't take it. I also never finished The Coffee Trader by David Liss. I really wish I hadn't wasted my money on that book. Although it might have been the free book in a buy two get one free deal, I don't remember. Totally not worth reading.

I've only been dismaed with one book recently though and that was Laura Esquivel's Malinche. If you read the review I posted, I mentioned that I'm not sure if it was the translation or if the story was just that bad, because I did enjoy the movie version of Like Water for Chocolate.

So tell me, friends: what are some books you absolutely hated? Books you threw against the wall, wanted to set on fire (as wrong as it is), books you never wanted to see again.

ETA: I totally blanked on how much I HATE Virginia Woolfe. HATE. To the LIghthouse was INSUFFERABLE. the side of my face...

OH MY God how did I forget Joyce? Fuck Ulysses and Portrait of the Artist as a YOung Man. Those books are the worst ever ever.

Monday, November 30, 2009


I am so indecisive. I got a $50 gift cert from amazon for my birthday (thanks Mom & Dad) but I am having a difficult time deciding what i should get myself. I know I'm getting the following, because I have wanted them and they are cheap:

The Secret Bride: In the Court of Henry VIII by Diane Haeger, because I keep picking it up and putting it back down because of the price.

Frozen River is only 6.99 on Amazon, and you guys know how much I love this movie.

Along those lines is the 20th Anniversary edition of Heathers for only 3.99. You're welcome.

And finally, a friend of mine coincidentally named Amanda recommended that I read Push by Sapphire, a month before I had even heard of it or the movie that's out now. So since it's only 5 bucks, I said deal.

This adds up to 31.84, so I need 20 bucks more, since I don't want to split up the order. Give me some recommendations!

ETA: I meant to add that I'm looking to get into the fantasy genre some too, since I am nearly finished with the Kushiel series (both trilogies). So if someone can point me towards another series that is along the same lines but doesn't really have a lot of the crazy fantasy stuff that would scare me off that would be great. Amazon keeps pushing Anne Bishop, but I'm a little leery of the series. What do you all think?

Monday, November 16, 2009

Book reviews!

If I hear the word "cardi" again and it's not referring to the Alpha Quadrant species in a derogatory way, I am going to stab the "modelquins" at Old Navy with a wooden stake tipped with a silver bullet. It's the only way.

Now for more book reviews:

Night Train to Lisbon, Pascal Mercier.
I originally picked this one up because Isabel Allende was one of the reviewers on the back, and since I love her, I figured I couldn't go wrong. And I couldn't. This is the story of a staid older man who lives an incredibly mundane life until an encounter shakes up his entire life. He up and moves to Lisbon from Switzerland on the spur of the moment, pursuing the story of a revolutionary genius.

The Disappearance of Irene Dos Santos, Margaret Mascarenhas.
This book is about two childhood friends, one of whom allegedly disappeared in the jungles of Venezuela when they were teenagers. This is an incredibly well-written weaving tale that uses viewpoints from all the characters in the book. It's not as predictable as it would seem. Definitely a keeper.

The Notebook, Nicholas Sparks.

Yes, I can hear your disdain from here. Let me keep this short: cute story, very sad, horribly written book. I bet the movie's better.

American Gods, Neil Gaiman.
Most of you have read this already and I know you were breathlessly awaiting my response on it. LOL. Anyway, it was really good. That's all I got. I see the appeal of Gaiman, but am not yet in his cult.

Finally, thanks to a recommendation from , I started reading Kushiel's Legacy series and I can't put it down. I'm on the fourth book, and I haven't been disappointed yet. It's my first foray into fantasy, and the series is quite captivating. It's set in a Renaissance-esque world, and it's so captivating from start to finish.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

One for the readers/writers in the hizzouse

Ok, so I finished a book earlier this summer, and I started on a prequel of sorts for it. What happened was I had this weird dream that consisted of an alien planet that, when encountered by humans for the first time, was a devoutly Catholic planet. So I started with that basis and created a first encounter novel of poison, revenge, and a multi-planet alliance. That was the first book. While I ended up giving hints that the Mirellans (as I called them) were Catholic, I did not explicitly come out and say it.

So the second book I started is an explanation of how that occured. But what I'm trying to decide (and it's nothing that needs deciding right this second, as I still have a ton more writing to do before I get there) is whether or not I should bridge it to the first by having characters from the first book in the second one. The thing of it is that the 'prequel' is set three hundred years earlier than the first book, so the characters wouldn't overlap. I did however, end the first book with the main character telling someone the story that I am telling in the second.

The idea for the return of those characters is threefold: 1) because Leah, the main character from the first book is researching the events of the second book to learn what Earth had said about the encounter; 2) because Leah's adventures are going to continue in the third book, and I think that something should link the three besides being set in the same universe; 3) because what happens in the second half of the 'prequel' sets up the events in the first book a bit more.

(Does this make sense without me telling what the story is?)

So the questions I have are : can I insert these characters without making it too obvious? Is there any easy way to transition to them? Should I keep this "prequel" the second book, or make it the first one? And if I do switch the order, do I really want to add in the future cast?

Any advice would be helpful!

Sunday, November 01, 2009

My take on NY-23.

So some of you might know that Representative John McHugh (R-Pierrepont Manor) is now the Secretary of the Army, after chairing the Armed Forces committee for years. This appointment led to the vacancy in New York's 23rd district, which just happens to be the same one I am from. This always-ignored corner of New York, right on the Canadian border and NO, not anywhere near Buffalo thank you very much, suddenly found itself in the national spotlight. The district found itself suddenly in a three way race, as the GOP endorsed State Assemblywoman Dierdre Scozzafava, and Democrat Bill Owens ran the race, with Conservative Candidate Doug Hoffman also in the mix.

As it got closer to the election, Hoffman and Owens cut into Scozzafava's lead, and NY-23, aka Northern New York finally made national spotlight for something other than gang rape or a famous football player. (Don't ask about the former.) Newt Gingrich endorsed Scozzafava, and Sarah Palin came out for Hoffman. This article from the New York Times sums up pretty well what happened next.

Basically, Hoffman cut into Scozzafava's lead enough, spending more money than she had from Palin's BFFs across the country. She withdrew from the race Saturday morning. Today, Ms. Scozzafava endorsed Bill Owens for the district win.

None of this really bothers me, except the fact that Hoffman doesn't even LIVE in NY-23. That is correct, sir. While Scozzafava and Owens have lived in the district (and full disclosure: she used to live right behind our house when I was a kid), and Hoffman does not. That is a problem to me. While I don't live in that district anymore, I always have a difficult time accepting politicians from other locales running the government where I live. I'm looking at you, Secretary Clinton. I was excited for Kirsten Gillibrand's appointment as a senator because for once we got an upstate senator, even if she was from Albany. It's closer. Not like Arkansas.

Now to be fair, Hoffman is from Lake Placid, which is south of the district but still in the Adirondacks. You might know it as the place where the Miracle on Ice happened. It's very far north, but it's not in NY-23, and Hoffman shouldn't be elected as its Representative.

Course, I shot myself in the foot by failing to mail my application for an absentee ballot last week. Whoops. I hope Owens doesn't lose by one vote.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

overheard in the mall

(working in my store, helping Genevieve refold sweaters):

"No, honey, this isn't the fat people store."

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

As my world turns...

I totally didn't post about the second half of my adventure.

Things I learned from Day 2 of Montreal:
-The SAQ does not give you a bag for your booze. You must buy one. And I mean that, don't leave without one.
-I cannot go into any other Jean Coutu Pharmacies in Montreal until I'm sure the pharmacy tech forgets who I am for dropping the bottle I bought at SAQ in her store. Whoops.
-I really still don't like all-seasoned chips. Remember, Ehjay, you do not like vinegar.
-I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really love Montreal.

In other news, I would like your anecdata about choosing a doctor. I got my health insurance card yesterday and now I just have to choose a health care provider. This might make me an adult :( but I never had to choose my doctor before, my parents kinda did that. Also, there were like two pediatricians in the whole town. So that kinda limits things. But I live in a city with a medical school. So tell me, flist, how did you choose your doctor? Horror stories and excellent stories welcome!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

je t'adore, montreal <3

reasons why i love montreal more than your mom

-centre bell has lifesized statues of famous hockey players.
-there's such a mix of languages here and all of them i can understand (so far)
-the metro is really far superior to cdta (hell, most things are)
-there is a baked potato restaurant that i am going to try for science (again) tomorrow.*
-i got to stand less than two feet away from laura pausini omg and she came around the edge of the stage and shook everyone's hand and i got squished against the stage and i don't even CARE because omg i love her

missions for tomorrow:
do touristy things (ie walk around mtl and take lots and lots of pitchers)
eat baked potatoes @ restaurant
am iffy on smoked meat, but when in montreal...
i also need to have real poutine. that's correct sir i will be doing a lot of eating on this trip.
make it back to the bus terminal by 2100 or else

I forgot my cable back in the states so I can't upload any of my awesome photos from the concert yet. in the meantime i have a queen-sized bed all to myself and I found the ABC station out of Burlington, so I am awesome.

*Candice discovered this place when I first met her, and we tried it when I got to MTL for the original Trip of Doom.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

not even joking



Guess what?

Guess what I unpacked today at work?

If you guessed Stirrup pants you would be correct.


Friday, October 16, 2009

NCIS post!

should skip this post.

Guys, Michael Weatherly has come out against Tiva and I don't blame him. But Tiva stans are kinda frightening (see the comments on the article for an example). I'm of the (minority) opinion against hooking up single male/female coworkers on the show because they can (see DS9 for a great example of this, Friends* especially was notorious for this, or even BSG to an extent -- although that one was more understandable, but still annoying, Billy-Killer!). And Michael Weatherly's had to deal with that before -- when he was on Dark Angel they hooked his character up with Jessica Alba's (well, they were also dating off-camera at the time too, but shh).

What are your thoughts on Tony & Ziva getting together? Do you think it should happen or do you think the writers should just forget about it? Are there any good examples of UST-ending relationships that worked that you can think of?

*And if any of you say that you liked Ross & Rachel together, I may just have to beat you.

Friday, October 09, 2009

I got a new cell phone. I was tired of paying upwards of 60bucks a month to use mydamn phone five times a month, or worrying about running out of money on the phone while texting someone. So I got a Tracphone, with double minutes for life. If I wasn't buried under three or four blankets I'd go pull it out and tell you all the number. If you're on facebook with me you'll see it tomorrow. If you're cool I might even let you text me. ;) (I do so love the texting)

In unrelated news, I will be in your home and native land Oct 21-22 (mostly the 22) for to see Laura Pausini live in Montreal. If anyone wants to come out for the day on Thursday 22 October I would love to see you!

I also bought some new clothes today because I wanted to and they were on sale. I haven't had a chance to pull out. I got one of the watches my company is selling for BCRF.

I have a confession to make. I had never read Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. So I never really got the OH MISTER DARCY hype that the internets and most of my English major friends seem to have. But I picked up the book for a buck at Goodwill, and I just finished it. Darcy's cool and all, but Elizabeth is far more awesome than anyone else in the book, sorry to say.

Then I saw at the bookstore: Mr Darcy -- Vampire



What, I ask you, Internets, is this fuckery?

Friday, October 02, 2009

Things I like!

This article refers to Brian Leonard, the only NFL player to come out of Gouverneur, NY. It's really cool to read about your hometown on a major NFL team's site:

If you want lights, you have to go to Massena or Ogdensburg, or Indian River, the larger outposts in the upper reaches of New York State sprawling between the Adirondack foothills and the Thousand Islands perched in the St. Lawrence River.

But Brian Leonard put Class C Gouverneur on the map long before he saved September for Bengaldom with a DVD 11-yard run-and-catch on fourth-and-10 with 36 seconds left during a game the Bengals needed a touchdown to survive Pittsburgh’s annual tempest.

Or, it’s more like Gouverneur put Leonard on the map. If you drive into town on its one main street, Main Street (yes, really), it is also Route 11 and there is a sign that says it is the home of Brian Leonard, complete with the helmets of Gouverneur, Rutgers and the Bengals.

The same sign is on the other way into town, Route 58. And if you miss it and it is Sunday you can go to the Four-by-Four Country Club and catch him on the TV, where about 50 to 60 people are still watching Leonard ply his trade as an NFL handyman.

Or you could try the Casablanca, the postgame football hangout where Devlin and his coaches commiserate and mingle with the community and parents.

Hey, at least this time the Casi's getting GOOD publicity, amirite?

On an unrelated note, Chris Rock's comments about Polanski made my day: Rock says at the end of the clip: "The United States, we want to capture Osama Bin Laden, and murder him. We don't want to rape him - that would be barbaric!"

Thursday, October 01, 2009

My head hurts.


I figured I'd do a comprehensive recap of the books I've read this summer. I'm sure i'm missing some because all I did was grab the stack of books I have by my bed that I know I finished but didn't write up.

Golden Country by Jennifer Gilmore:

This book I picked up out of a $1 sale at Borders. I don't think it's anything I would have picked up if I had to pay more for it, but that's why I love this sale.

This book is the story of three immigrant families in Brooklyn in the 1950s. The protagonists are all Jewish Eastern European families whose children grow up and intermarry. It's really interesting to see the different sociological structures that come into play when you get to meet them. (Sorry, I read this book early on this summer, I'm not as quick to recall it as when I first read it.) But I think even for more than a dollar I would pick up this book again.

Petropolis, by Anna Ulinich:

Sasha is the child of a Russian woman and a half-black, half-Russian scientist. She and her mother are abandoned by her father when she is small, and she grows up idolizing her absent father. Suddenly finding herself a teenage mother, her mother sends her to Moscow to go to school and raises the child as Sasha's sister. Sasha instead joins a mail-order bride service in order to sneak into the US and find her wayward father. She finds a lot more than him when she gets to the US, though.

This is absolutely riveting and hilarious at the same time. Definitely worth the read.

My Answer Is NO (If That's Ok With You) by Nanette Gartrell.

This I also picked up for a dollar. I don't usually do self-help books, but this one I keep finding myself going back to. I have a hard time saying no to people, at least without feeling bad about it, and this book understands that. It's really good with real life examples and concrete psychological reasons to explain why I (and other women) feel this inability to say no without guilt. Definitely incredibly worth the read. I found it incredibly helpful this summer while working as an assistant manager at my store.

Malinche, by Laura Esquivel.

I had high hopes for this book. I paid a dollar for it as well, and I know Esquivel's other major novel, Como agua para chocolate, at least in movie form. I'm incredibly familiar with the source material, and I know the story of Malinche. I was horrifically disappointed in her take on her. I don't know if it's the English translation screwing the pooch or that it was just THAT. BAD. It was short so I powered through it.

The Lady Elizabeth, Alison Weir.

Last time I did a book review post I talked about Alison Weir's Jane Grey novel, and how I was slightly disappointed in it. I said then that I looked forward to this one to see if her fictional works had improved.

I did find it an improvement. I still find her dialogues to be a little stilted (I'm a little biased because most of my own writing is dialogue. I like to tell, not show ;)), but her characterisations are improving. Elizabeth is as fascinating a character as history can make her, and I truly enjoyed reading her life from her "own" perspective. I liked it better than Innocent Traitor.

(Side note: Weir is publishing a biography of ANNE BOLEYN, guys, ANNE FREAKING BOLEYN. How AWESOME is this book gonna be????_

Ok, just three more, I promise.

The Shipping News, by Annie Proulx.

I read this book years and years earlier, way before I had even considered visiting Newfoundland. (Yeah, that long ago.) So when I found this book @ Goodwill for a buck, I had to save it and re-read it. I knew the basic storyline -- guy loses his cheating slut of a wife in a car accident, and moves with his two daughters to his family's ancestral home in Newfoundland.

Having been to the island and actually having taken much of the same journey that Quoyle did, it puts this book in a whole new light. The whole time I was reading it I felt incredibly homesick, for a place I've never even lived in and only visited twice in my life. She did the island and its people justice. It's definitely one of my top ten books of all time. And if you haven't visited Newfoundland, I STRONGLY encourage you to do so.

Another book I picked up for a dollar: East of the Mountains, by David Guterson.

I read Snow Falling on Cedars probably about the same time that I read The Shipping News, so I only vaguely remember that I enjoyed the book. This time out was no exception. Guterson describes Washington state pretty well, although I've never been there so I can't say for sure. I didn't read the jacket insert that describes the book, or I don't think I would have picked it up. It tells me that it's the story of a man who is on a deathwish going hunting in the woods and all the strange people he encounters that make him want to live again. Sounds hokey, but Guterson pulls it off. After a while, though. It took me about 75 pages in to even really care about Ben, and it took til the end for me to sit there and say, "Hey, this book wasn't so bad after all."

Finally! Last book. FOR NOW DUN DUN DUN.

The Widow of the South, by Robert Hicks.

This one JUMPED off the store shelves at me. I wanted to read this one so much just from the back cover alone. It's a novel based on a real person, Carrie Winder McGavock. Hicks gives her a motivation for her devoted service to the cemetery at Carnton.

Too bad that it takes until the bad guy wants to plow over the graves of the Confederate soldiers, nearly 2/3 of the way through the book for things to click. Neither Carrie nor Zachariah, the solder whose leg she amputates, are that interesting of a character.

I'll admit a caveat about this. I keep trying to read Civil War stuff like Cold Mountain and i just. can't. get into it. I don't know if The Widow of the South suffers from that problem or if it's just a bad book. I need unbiased opinions ;)

Monday, September 28, 2009

stupid scam artists


tonight's adventure comes courtesy of a customer who thought she could pull a fast one on me.

She works at a neighbouring store, one of the kiosks outside in the mall, and she comes in all the time after closing down her kiosk early. Five minutes before we close, she starts browsing and stays til 9:40ish. The other night she had come in asking about x-small belts, which we don't have yet, and this evening she had come in earlier to return something. Then she came back in as I said, 9:25, and started browsing. So I asked her if she needed help, and she said no. She then asked about the belts again and my coworker took her over to them to pick one out for her.

She decided on one, then headed to the clearanced jewelry rack. I asked her if I could start ringing her stuff up for her while she browsed a bit more, cause it was 9:40 when she went over there. She said, "no, that's fine I'll be only five more minutes or so." Fine, whatever.

So she finally comes over and I punch in her telephone number and rewards card, and start ringing her up. I started with her belt and then scanned in her pants, which rang up at 70% off. I thought that odd but we did have a random pair someone returned the other day, so I set them down. Then I picked up the sweaters she had, and I set them back down.

The tickets on the sweaters were red slashed, which meant that they were clearanced. Except that these were brand new sweaters we had just gotten in a couple of weeks ago and were not even on any type of sale yet. I explained this to her and told her that I would not be able to selll them to her at that price. My coworker then grabbed the pants and we noticed that the tickets had been switched on that one too.

So suddenly she didn't want any of it, and she left at 9:45, not buying a damned thing. Now I have no proof that she did switch the tickets, but it is very suspicious. I called my Loss Prevention line and my store manager and let them both know what was going on, so that was fun.

My guess is that she figured we'd be more interested in getting out of the store and not paying attention to what we were ringing up. The tags on the sweaters and pants didn't match the type of items -- they were number sizes on the tags and XS sweaters/pants.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Things that are life.

Ok, so my friend Laura dropped me off in front of my house...well, kinda.

See we came back from Troy and we got to my street, a one-way. In the middle of the street, right in front of my house was a goddamned police car with lights flashing. We ended up two cars behind that, and I see two blonde girls sitting on a car next to Laura's. Then I realized those were my roommates, so I hopped out of the car and asked what was going on.

Some dipshit had once again parked in front of our driveway. Goddamn, people. And this time there were TWO CARS IN IT. So the cop finally moved to let everyone go by, and I sat on K's car with Amanda and we waited for the tow truck.

It finally came, and as they're hooking the chains to it and are pulling it toward the bed, this bitch comes running out of her house in a sports bra and shorts and begs them not to tow her car. After over an hour of the cop flashing his lights and shit she finally gets the nerve to get off her ass and come out and move her damned car. She got very lucky, because two minutes later it would have been on the back of the truck, and according to Chris, one of my roommate's friends, there's no going back. Bitch got her ticket though. "Oh I didn't realize it was a driveway," she said. Amanda yelled over, "TRY LOOKING TO THE RIGHT NEXT TIME."

Thursday, September 10, 2009

important things

I use my cell phone as my alarm clock. For some reason I use my cell phone ringtone as the alarm sound. So I set the alarm for 0730 this morning and I heard it go off. So I opened the phone and I was just about to push the snooze button when I hear someone go, "Hello? Helloooooooooo." The phone was ringing!

AT OH SEVEN THIRTY. WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY. And she's all asking me questions and giving me advice on finding a new roommate (the caller was my landlady). I can't process stuff at that early o'clock.

Also I had something very hideous to show you that I got in @ work but I can't find it on the website other than on the main page, which I am currently uploading to photobucket.

This is just...too much. And it's not even real fur, it's faux fur. I ...there are no words to describe how much I want to light it on fire.

Anyway, so can feel better, I'm finished with NCIS completely until the season premiere on 18 September ;)

Right now I'm subsisting on internet stolen from an unlocked wireless connection. Like I told my dad, "if you're not gonna lock it, I'm gonna use it."

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Things I deem cool and not cool.


1) NCIS! Guys! I love this show! You: WE know, Ehjay, tell us something new?
Ok, so I'm finally up to the part where Gibbs up and quits cause the guvmint let the terrorists win. That's the end of s3. I just have to catch a few more random episodes of S3 and I'll be ready to move onto 4. I'm seriously stoked.

Since I don't know anything about the end of Season Six, other than Ziva's in trouble, and Tony has to rescue her, None of this NCIS spoiler post makes any sense to me.

This post here has a bit about NCIS:LA but keep in mind that there are spoilers for other shows in here, especially House. Do a CTRL+F for NCIS.
Soon I will be able to finish NCIS, and when I do, the next show for me to do is The Wire. Enough people have raved about this show that I decided I desperately need to see it.

2) This article is kinda nifty in a ghost ship kind of way:
Basically this Russian ship hauling timber left Finland bound for Algeria. It stopped in Lithuania for repairs and then disappeared. Hijacking is unlikely because of where it was, but no one can find it. It hasn't sunk cause there's no oil or lumber on the ocean floor anywhere. SPOOKY.



Tomorrow is a day off for me, and there is a 40% off any paperback coupon at Borders. What should I get? ;)


Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Book reviews!

I missed doing these posts, so I will do a few of the books I've read recently.

First up, Innocent Traitor: A Novel of Lady Jane Grey, by Alison Weir.

Weir is my favourite historical author, and I was elated to find out she'd branched into novels. I picked this one up in Ottawa, and I was slightly disappointed. Weir is a master at writing historical characters, using the available facts to give us a clear sense of the subject. Something got lost in the novel though. The facts are all there, but the spirit is missing. She set it up similarly to what Phillipa Gregory did in The Boleyn Inheritance by using three first person narrators. But unlike Gregory, this setup just loses its punch. Jane Grey is the best character in the book, but it's clear that Weir is not nearly as interested in Queen Mary. I dunno, I was underwhelmed.

I have Weir's The Lady Elizabeth, and that's up next to read so I'm hoping it goes a little better. I think Innocent Traitor was her first novel.

Up next I have uh, another Alison Weir book. But this one is one of her standard biographies. And as usual, I have nothing bad to say about it at all. She manages to bring a woman who there is limited source material regarding to life. Eleanor of Aquitaine was the Duchess of Aquitaine, Countess of Poitou, Queen of France, and Queen of England. She was in fact one of the most famous, most influential women of her day. Sadly because she lived in the 12th century, there is little remaining of her records -- even her tomb, Weir reveals, was destroyed in the 18th Century during the French Revolution. While most of the book talks about Eleanor's family, Weir is able to show fairly easily how these forefathers and descendants influenced and in turn were influenced by this woman known as "the most beautiful woman in Europe."

The final book I'm gonna talk about is a Kate Atkinson novel. If you haven't read anything by this woman I strongly encourage you to do so ASAP. I love this woman and her writing. And I was reading One Good Turn, which is a sequel to Case Histories. If you haven't read Case Histories you don't necessarily NEED to in order to understand this book, but it helps. It revolves around poor ex-detective Jackson Brodie, a man who seems to find trouble no matter where he goes. The supporting cast of characters is so rich and creative that it's almost worth it on its own.


Saturday, July 25, 2009

Reasons I dislike Colonie Center.

Reasons why I dislike Colonie Center Mall:

1) It requires me to either take two buses or walk fifteen minutes to catch a bus.

2) To go home at night requires a wait of an hour.

3) The stupid mall locks the entrances until 9am except the one at the very rear of the mall.

4) Barnes & Noble opens at nine, which means I can't sneak through there to get to work.

5) They started locking the utility corridors in the morning so I can't sneak in through the front.

6) Sears opens at 8am on Saturday, but they keep the gate to the Mall itself closed. JERKS.

7) The escalator and stairs to the first floor are ridiculously far away from the food court. This makes my half hour lunch break a pain in the ass.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

This is a NCIS post.

Ok, so I am watching the episodes on USA and they're random eps, not straight through like I had planned to do. So I watched the episode where Paula Cassidy gets blown up by a suicide bomber and that was highly sad. This leads me to three questions, because all of y'all love NCIS like I do and know the answers. (I'm looking at you.

1) When did Cassidy get transferred out of Gitmo? Did she and Tony ever hook up?

2) Does Ziva get mad a lot when people mispronounce her last name?

3) Tony's girlfriend -- did she come up before? Or was she someone Ton talked about but never showed because he flirted a lot with Ziva and Cassidy?

4) I'm guessing something bad happens to both Lauren Holly's director character and the chick Gibbs was going to the batting cages with. But this one I don't know and I don't want to know.

Also also I really need a NCIS icon but the communities are filled with shippers and I just DNW.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

North Country represent!

So Senator Gillibrand made a survey of the fattest counties in New York. Guess who was number one?

Lewis, Jefferson, and St. Lawrence counties, that's who! North Country WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--oh wait.

It's not really that surprising though. Poorer people tend to eat worse. And those counties are pretty damned poor. Will banning trans-fats from schools really solve this problem? i distinctly recall that school lunches sucked balls in my high school.

In other news, I read another book, and it was really really good.

How Starbucks Saved My Life: A Son of Privilege Learns to Live Like Everyone Else. This is the story of a rich old white dude who loses his cushy job, his family, and his health insurance and ends up learning life lessons by working as a part-time barista in a Starbucks in New York City. It's so fascinating, and it reminds me a lot of why I enjoy my job most days.

Monday, July 13, 2009


Last night I worked from 6pm to 3am doing the new floorset. Well, really I processed freight and everyone else set up the store. When I emerged from the back room, there was a wall for LEGGINGS. Entirely devoted to leggings. AND GUESS, oh GUESS, dear readers what one type of leggings were labelled along the wall. Go on, guess.

I'll wait.

Yeah. Luckily they haven't come in yet. Otherwise I might have to light them on fire. Unlike my home store, which nearly caught on fire. My roommates both worked tonight and told me how they had to evacuate the mall after a power outage to their side of the mall.

So! Latest on Honduras. (Yes, I'm still posting about that. You all can play tl;dr).

Because Chávez and Zelaya are BFF, Chávez cut off oil supplies from Venezuela to Honduras in a classic move.

Zelaya, in turn decided his move would be to give an ultimatum. A vague ultimatum.

And finally, teachers returned to work after ending their strike. Teachers struck originally to support Zelaya.

Apparently Zelaya has a fetish for these hats:

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Honduras update!

This time with more satire!

Top Ten Reasons the US Isn't Getting Its Panties in a Twist Over Honduras

4,6,7, and 8 are the best.

Basically, this story has dropped off radar, so I'm doing my best to keep everyone updated.
The General who arrested Zelaya said that he had a hard time doing it, but it was necessary to save democracy.

Like Maricela and I said at the beginning, it seems like this whole thing needed to be done but it would have been so much easier if they hadn't shipped Zelaya off to Costa Rica.

Zelaya's supporters are going on strike. He seems to have union support, especially with educators. Now I love me some unions (as does the Pope) [really, I just wanted an excuse to post the Pope link])

Ok, come on Zelaya, could you look any more like a villain if you tried?

(thanks to Laura for the papal link!)

Thursday, July 02, 2009

I haven't forgotten about Honduras

RL got in the way of my Honduras updates -- yesterday I had to work and then I kinda just mindlessly surfed the internet to get over how sad I am bout leaving that store. Today was in town, and it's the last time I will see her for a while since she's moving to Japan later this month.

My money sitch is gonna run me tight. Love it.

Maricela wrote this on Facebook a couple of days ago:

La verdad de Honduras
Tues at 11:45
Es una pena que los gobiernos y las organizaciones internacionales traten a este evento como una barbarie y una acto troglodita. Mas del 90% de la población se opone a la restitución del Sr. Zelaya quien ha pretendido en múltiples ocasiones pasar por encima de la ley y se ha mostrado incapaz de gobernar este país con justicia. Este Sr. ha ofendido los valores y derechos del pueblo Hondureño y la democracia, al haber llegado al poder por medio de mentiras y promesas falsas, y luego introducir ideas izquierdistas a semejanza de Hugo Chávez, quien es un gorila necio que pretende llevar a América Latina por el mismo camino de la antigua Europa socialista. Los militares arrestaron a Manuel Zelaya siguiendo las órdenes de la Corte Suprema de Justicia debido a sus actos criminales, y el mismo dia el poder fué devuelto a los civiles. Esto no ha sido un golpe de estado ni un regreso a los años oscuros como ha sido clasificado por el resto del mundo, sino un acto de valor, por el cual el pueblo Hondureño ha optado por despedir a un empleado incompetente y ponerle fin al circo del Sr. Zelaya. Los noticieros internacionales han tergiversado la información convirtiendo a este señor en una victima. Por esto, yo y todos aquellos que queremos la paz y la democracia en nuestro país queremos que nuestra voz sea escuchada y pido que nos ayuden a transmitir nuestro mensaje.

El mundo solamente ha podido ver un lado de la moneda en el que el Sr. Zelaya ha quedado como la víctima. Hoy dia se le brindo la oportunidad a este señor de hablar frente a Asamblea General de la ONU donde proporcionó un discurso lleno de mentiras. Por dar algunos ejemplos, dijo que la fuerzas militares han mantenido a Honduras en un estado de parálisis por 3 dias, disparando a la gente y lastimando a unas 160 personas, cuando esto es mentira. En el país hay calma, unidad, y fe en el nuevo gobierno. Entre otras mentiras dijo que él vive en una casa de clase media, que está en contra de las dictaduras, y que ha reducido la pobreza en 2 años. Todas estas son mentiras. Me parece que lo justo y correcto en esta situación es que el pueblo de Honduras también tenga la oportunidad de expresarse ante la comunidad internacional y explicar porque apoyamos la destitución de esta persona. No es posible que la ONU y la OEA evalúe la situación sin mandar delegados al país y analizar la situación desde adentro, examinando todas las acusaciones que se han hecho en contra del Sr. Zelaya. La Fiscalia ya ha emitido una orden de arresto a través de la interpol en cuenta de 18 delitos incluyendo narcotráfico, traición a la patria, desvío de recursos y crimen organizado.

New developments include: attempts to bring Zelaya back to the country, pressure from the OAS on Honduras to restore Zelaya, threatening expulsion. The new President, Micheletti, is willing to negotiate on this, but Zeleya is going to face impeachment proceedings should he return.

It seems like Micheletti is holding out an olive branch to Zeleya. If Zeleya returns, don't expect to see him be President much longer.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Maricela gave me little bit more today.

First off, while she is fully in support of Zeleya's removal, she feels that moving him to Costa Rica was not the right call. After reading a bit more, I agree as well. Calling it a coup is more plausible if you remove the leader from the country. Arresting him and calling for impeachment hearings would have led to less condemnation and possibly fewer protestors.

Here's a good article discussing the US take on it. To sum up, basically the US is treading lightly. While they condemn the tactics of taking down Zeleya, they're not insisting upon his reinstatement. Which is in line with policies of previous administrations.

Maricela also wanted me to post this video:

I don't agree with what Krauthammer is saying here, mainly because he uses a Hitler comparison, and I feel that it is a little overblown in this situation. He kind of throws out all the "scary" left wing names -- Chavez, Ortega. It's like a who's who of Latin American leftists.

Zeleya is asking the UN for help in getting himself reinstated.

It seems apparent that no one likes how this was done, like Maricela said, but no one has a problem with the reasoning behind it. The American government, the OAS (Organization of American States), and leaders worldwide seem to be avoiding talking about the reasons behind the arrest.

I will probably keep posting about this every day except when I go to Canada this weekend, because I think it's an important news story that I don't want to see get lost.


In non-Honduras news, I finish my last day at my store tomorrow. After I come back from Canada, I'll be in Colonie Center for the summer and most of the fall. It'll be a+++ good times. I'm gonna miss the hell out of my girls though

Theresa will be here tomorrow and Wednesday. She leaves me for Japan on July 25 -- she's going to be a JET!

I know there was something else I wanted to talk about, but I can't remember it now. Oh well!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Honduras "Coup"

As a Latin American historian, I kinda find this Honduras coup fascinating. One of my friends on Facebook, born and raised in Honduras, wrote as her status about 20 minutes ago:

Para todos aquellos que condenaron el golpe de estado en Honduras: INFORMENSE señores, solo los que estamos aqui adentro sabemos lo que de verdad prefieren, veanlo asi...NO fue golpe de estado...simplemente se despidió a un empleado incompetente!!!!...lo unico ilegal aqui es lo que queria hacer Mel por medio de una farsa populachera para perpetuarse en el poder.

Basically, she says (if I'm translating this correctly -- feel free to correct me!) basically, thi wasn't really a bad thing to get rid of this guy. In her current status update, she says to google La Masacre en los Horcones. (this is the only English source that was easily readable I could find, which should tell you something about how much Americans care or know about Honduras). What's interesting about this, for the tl;dr crowd is that this massacre took place on the land owned by Mel Zelaya, who is the father of today's deposed president -- Manuel Zelaya.

As befitting a friend of Chávez, Zelaya is of course claiming the US is involved in this coup. Were this a year ago, I'd probably agree. If this was the 1980s, you betcha. But thankfully Henry Kissenger is nowhere near this White House.

For now, Roberto Micheletti is the interim president of Honduras. Micheletti was the leader of Congress.

To sum up: Honduras underwent a coup d'état because Zeleya, the President wanted to overturn the law that bars him from running for President again. The same thing happened in Venezuela a couple of years ago but Hugo Chávez overcame it. Zeleya is currently in Costa Rica, since the military arrested him at his house and threw him on a plane to get him out of the country.

Maricela, my friend whose status messages are quoted above, posted the following in English:
To all my friends in the international community, I ASK FOR YOUR SUPPORT...We, the people of Honduras are voicing our opinions so that the world can understand that we are standing up for our democracy through the destitution of a person who has abused our nation's constitutions in many different ways, we oppose Zelaya's restitution and ask that you also help us voice our opinions and send positive thoughts our way

This link also explains in a bit more detail just what Zeleya has done in Honduras, which makes it less of a coup and more of an impeachment.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


State Senate continues to be a bunch of big babies.

You know, I'm one of the biggest NYS apologists you'll find, but goddamn, they're trying my patience. We need to just up and start over. Empty the Senate, run new elections, and not allow any of these jackoffs to run again. I'm sorry, but this whole thing is ridiculous. And of course it is the city senators fucking everything up. Every day I hear someone else say how much they want to leave New York, or how much they hate it here. And sometimes I feel the same way. I love New York. I love how diverse a state it is, and I think there is a lot of potential in New York. Especially after the elections last year shook everything up in the Assembly and the Senate. But to cause such gridlock and make the state the laughingstock of the states, well good lord. Even I can't find a way to support that.

In other news, my life is a giant mess right now, and I just want to curl into my bed and never get out of it again. I have 9 days left before I transfer to the other store. ALso, Canada, which always makes me feel better. I also would like a mulligan on today.

Again, NCIS is super addictive. I pop in a disk to watch ONE episode and I end up watching the entire disk. This is a bad idea if you start it at 2am.

Tonight I'm going to watch just one episode but that's because the season finale of Life after People is on at 2am. It aired at 10, but I had to work and didn't get home til 10:30. I missed having cable.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

metal fonts are the best

The things we learn from asking google. Or in this case wiki answers.

In other news, I booked a hostel for my stay in Ottawa. This will be from Jul 2- Jul 5, the 4th being spent with Mlle Julie and her veddink! So excited! Another awesome thing is that I will be staying at the Jail Hostel in Ottawa. Dave pointed me to it, and I have to say I'm incredibly excited. Not only is it an actual JAIL converted into beds, it's also allegedly haunted. By the ghost of Patrick Whalen. Uh, guys, he assassinated Thomas D'Arcy McGee, which is kind of a BIG DEAL in Canadian history. And that's where I lost half of you. Anyway, I just wanted to gush on that.

Also, I finished watching S1 of NCIS, which if you don't watch you should. This show is hilarious and entertaining. And it has forensics and it has crime and it sometimes has hot men in uniform. Uh yeah.

Also also, I set up the wireless network for my house today all by myself. It was actually surprisingly easy and I only wanted to toss the laptop out the window once. And in one final note, I would just like to say that this storm is so badass that it set off a car alarm.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Ehjay doesn't drive

That doesn't stop me from loving cars though. For American cars my love goes to the Jeep, but my true love, the car I will buy when I win the lottery, is an Aston Martin DB7, although the 9 is HOT.

How can you not love this beautiful specimen of metal? YES.

Phil posted on Facebook how motorcycles > sports cars. I disagree, as I am not motorcycle-y inclined. When I mentioned Aston Martins, he said that the Bentley Azure was better. I disagree, because I do not like my cars to look like boxes.

So I leave it up to you, dear readers. Which car is hotter?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I saw a dead guy today.

No, really, I did.

Long story:
I was going from work to Renssalaer to pick up Emma, who will be here for a couple of days. The bus was being a PITA, stopping at one stop for no particular reason at all, so I texted Emma and we decided she'd take a cab to my house alone. So I got off at Lark St, and went to grab the next 10 back to my house. So I get on it and it's going down Central Avenue like it's supposed to and it got to Henry Johnson Blvd. Right there were flashing cop cars and lights and several guys standing around, including a couple of bike cops. I saw a bicycle lying on the ground, and I saw what looked to be like a sack of something on the ground. As we pulled up in front of the building, I saw a man lying there, with a caved in skull, the top part of his forehead was red, and he was not moving. What was really really frightening to me, besides the part where I had never seen anything like that was really hearing the reactions of everyone else on the bus. They all had the same reaction I did which was basically saying, "Oh my god," and looking, but unable to look away.

It's a little odd.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

ehjay doesn't twitter

I don't want a twitter.
I don't need a twitter.

But everyone I know has a twitter.


I am not actually going to get a twitter. I intend to remain the final holdout from Twitter

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


My other nemesis, Demetri Martin will be in Albany "performing." He's apparently a notable "person", which I don't quite get. Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that I've given up on Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, who irritates me far less now that she named her baby Bronx Mowgli, which will lead said child to erase her existence for me. So Demetri Martin, I am coming for you - you talentless hack.

Anyway, I have good news on another front, but I wish to wait for details before I release this information. Also I did laundry yesterday and I officially have decided my next house will be including a washer and dryer or have a laundromat ACROSS the street. No more of this mile rolling suitcase uphill both ways crap. Yes, I have to drag the suitcase pretty damned far.

I also have haiku from two weeks ago Lost, but not last week's or this week's yet. I am a bit behind, I'll admit.

Oh, and while MaggieSox's challenge is over, I'd still like to see what you all think are the best American bands since 2000. It is really really hard to come up with some because most of mine were uh, Canadian. I ended up submitting just Dropkick Murphys and Flogging Molly.


Sunday, March 15, 2009

End of a show...

I saw the four most saddest words in the English language today: Battlestar Galactica Series Finale.

Four years of my life are coming to an end with this show. Not sure I can really explain how important this show is to me, other than to say that I don't really know what will come along and replace it*. Granted, I said the same thing about DS9, but it took five years for BSG to come along.

So sometime in 2014 you'll find me with a new show.

I still love Lost, and I always will, but it doesn't capture my heart like BSG did.

I got the charger to work a bit today, so I'm happy with that. Tomorrow I work with my Katie, so that will be fabulous. And hopefully the new charger will come ASAP.

Current Music: Alanis Morissette - Uninvited

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Stupid Dunkin Donuts. Someone build me a Tim Horton's ASAP.

So I got a package of coupons from Dunkin Donuts a couple of weeks ago and I was all excited cause it's free shit. Like a free coffee every Wednesday (which I gave to my friend Laura cause I didn't think I would use it). And I clipped two specific coupons to use today: the buy one get one free hash browns and 99c medium winter beverage (dunkacino here I come!).

I went to the one on Madison, which has the novelty factor of being inside a quasi strip mall. See, inside this building is a Chinese food place, a Subway, and a DD. It's a little strange, but cool. So I got in line and waited patiently. I get up to the register and the lady tells me I can't use both coupons. No big, I'll just get the hashbrowns and an iced coffee instead of the winter drink. Then she asks me about my free coffee coupon, which is when I remembered it was Wednesday. I told her I didn't have it cause I gave it to someone else, figuring I would never come IN on a Wednesday. So I get my order in and hand her my debit card. THEN she tells me that credit cards aren't working. OHH GOOOD. /bale

Needless to say, I didn't get any hashbrowns or iced coffees. I settled for an asiago sourdough pretzel from Borders and a caramel frappucino from Starbucks. Stupid Dunkin Donuts.

Monday, February 16, 2009

only three americans will get this post

Louis Riel poems on display in Winnipeg.

Kristen: Hey guys, we drove here to see the poems.
Ehjay: hehehe
Kristen: What do you mean we can't see them?
Ehjay: we'll have to "liberate" them
Kristen: lol, yeah
Ehjay: it's what louis would have wanted
Kristen: at the border: Do you have anything to declare?
Yeah, we definitely didn't steal a book of poetry from those Metis three cars back in line.

Current music: The Tragically Hip - Grace, Too.
(even the music is apropos...........

Sunday, February 15, 2009

meanwhile, we're all damned....

So my wrist keeps hurting. I thought it was sprained since it isn't going away but one of the girls at work, who is in a physical therapy program and actually just did the unit on muscles/tendons/ligaments took a look at it. She diagnosed a strained tendon, and that I should try not to use it too much. Since it's my left hand that's easier said than done. I also need to buy an ace bandage to put on it but I don't have any money right now (there's money in the bank but I can't get to it) to get one.

So that's the status of my arm. I'm slightly annoyed. I hate asking people to do things for me, because I feel useless and I can carry a lot of shit. But I can't call off either, cause well, I need the hours. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Anyway, I have tea and that's really all anyone needs. I'm redownloading Enterprise cause I can't type much til this heals, and I need something to watch.

Current Music: The Trews - Black Halo (check this band out if you haven't!)

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Get out of my line.

So we have a big sale going on. A lot of clearance is 5.99, including old colours of camis, and tank tops. So a lady comes up to me with a bunch of the basic colours that never go on sale, cause we sell them at full price all year round. "How much are these?"

"Buy one get one half," I said.

"But the sign said they were 5.99."

"No, just those colours are 5.99. Did you get them off that rack?"



Later, a lady brought up five of them; cashier rang them up.
"I thought those were five for 20."
"No, they're buy one get one half."

"The sign over there says it."

"That's for the panties."

"Well you should have a descriptor on it to make it clearer."

"Oh, you mean like the one that says CITY STYLE PANTIES right on top of the 5 for 20 sign?"


Yeah that's right.

And my favourite type of customer:
Coupon for 20/60. Her items totalled 49.90. I suggested socks, to which she said, "oh my friend LOVES socks!" Then she wandered into the 9.99 clearance, and to save her from eventual heartbreak, I told her that the clearance stuff we cant use the coupon on. To which she storms back over to the register to say, "What, so you can't use your coupon on anything? Ugh, and to spend ten dollars to save twenty. What the hell."

Roughly 1/6 of the store is clearance. Probably less than that. Also, you managed to find $50 worth of stuff already, what's stopping you from finding $10 more? Three pairs of socks for your friend who loves socks would have done it. Jesus, get out of my line and go away.

Current Music: Loreena McKennitt - The Mummers Dance

Friday, February 13, 2009

Things I did today that you probably didn't...

1) Lost my hairbrush, had to use just a round brush to do my hair.
2) Missed my bus this morning, had to come into work late.
3) Found out that HSBC never actually listed my card as lost/stolen, and now I have to wait two more weeks for a new card.
4) Ran over my foot with a rolling rack.
5) Fell off a ladder, injuring my left arm.
6) Smacked my elbow off a clear plastic table.
7) Filled out an accident report.

In other news, I'll be covered in bubble wrap for the rest of the evening.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Writing! Untitled Novel! Exclamation Point Abuse!

I'm writing my new novel.

You: You are always writing a new novel, Ehjay, when are you actually going to finish one?
Me: Shut up.

Anyway, I'm really excited about this one. It's based on a dream I had, and I like the idea that it explores a lot of themes large and small. At least I hope it will. So I'm gonna include a preview of it here, and if you like it, let me know. Also let me know what may/may not be wrong with it. PRETTY PLEASE WITH CHERRY ON TOP. Yes, on top.

It’s a giant desert on the surface - temperatures nearly impossible to survive in during the daytime, nearly frozen at night. The binary stars are in the same orbit, and were they any closer nothing could survive at all. But just under the surface lie hundreds of miles of caves, their temperature regulated by a large network of mirrors and solar powered skylights. Two million people live in these caves, developing technologies to help them survive the horrific climate.

This network of mirrors lights up the interior nearly as well as the natural suns above do. The caves have an abundant supply of water and the skylights allow for greenhouses to produce the plant life that otherwise would not have existed. Were it not for these, the ten thousand survivors of a shipwreck two thousand years prior would never have made it to this point - peace negotiations with a benevolent neighbour.

The ship sits in orbit over the planet, the flagship of the Terran-Boral Confederacy. Its captain was under strict orders not to bring any Boralians aboard the ship, so as not to disturb the delicate negotiations. James Markwick’s first mission with his new ship led him to this planet. His wife Jenna, who was the ship’s half-Boralian second officer, was more excited about this mission than he was.

But something had gone horribly awry. He sat on the bridge of his ship, head in his hands, trying to sort out why the President of Mirella was in his infirmary near death from hemlock poisoning, and how he could extract Jenna from the hands of the recalcitrant and angry Mirellans. It had started out so well, so full of hope and promise.

The ship’s doctor, Ian Kensington knocked on the open door and entered. “Elle‘s down there,” he told Markwick.

“How is she?”

“It’s hard to say. You know how she is, intractable anyway.” Kensington frowned.

“What’s the latest on President Rostova?”

“He’s still in a very deep coma. I think we’ve stabilized him for now, and I don’t think he’ll die, but it will be a long time before he even regains consciousness.”

“That’s great news.”

“Well, let me qualify that. I’m not even sure he WILL regain consciousness, and if he does, I can’t guarantee the quality. Any luck on finding the perpetrator?”

“None. And they had to come from here. But the Mirellans think Jenna did it.”

“Have you spoken to her at all?”

“No,” James looked at his friend sadly. “I would give anything to have her back.” He stood up, straightening his uniform. “Let’s go talk to her.”


She sat in the infirmary next to the immobilized body of her uncle. Jonathan Rostova had been her only family since the death of her mother eight years earlier, and she would not desert him now. They had been through so much together, and had only been recently reunited. Someone entered, and she turned her neck to see Jake. He smiled, and she waved him to a chair.

“You called me, Elle?”

“Yeah, I did. I could use some company.”

“I’m not sure how much company I can be,” he replied.

“I just want you to listen,” she said. “You’re a storyteller, and someone has to tell this one.”

“Usually I write my own,” he said, unconvinced.

“Ideas start somewhere,” Elle replied.

“True. So what are you going to talk about?”

She stood up and walked to the window. Looking out over the planet’s surface, a never ending tan streak across its surface, she replied simply, “home.”

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

ahh another week, another lost recap.

Please keep in mind that these are spoilers for last week AND This week.

Jack & Claire, Siblings.
I established this theory
Way in season 1

A boat with Jack, Kate.
Why didn't it sink!

If it shuts Kate up
Give her the damned baby, Jack, please?
Poor Aaron. He's doomed.

Three years later now
Sun dresses Kate up really well
Sun, Kate BFF

What's in the package?
It's a gun! My favourite!
Valentine candy.

Aaaaand Charlotte's down, out.
Blood goatee for Charlotte, right?
Things not so good here

Kate's not Angelina, see?
No vials of blood.

Locke knows all, death looms.
Charlotte's got AMNESIA now
Soap opera time!

Sayid's Hospital
Some guy stops in to visit.
Sayid is NINJA

Dust mops on the darts
Dude was stalking Kate.

Kate, answer the phone.
We also hate Jack; understand.
This is important.

Hunting the Orchid
Shh, be vewwy vewwy quiet.
Flashy time again.

Miles is next, damn.
Wait a tick, he's Candle's kid.
No wonder he's sick.

Flash to Claire torture
That's when Kate broke tiny booze!
Sawyer loves Kate, boo.

Kate is crying, shock.
Wait, Jack hasn't cried yet.
Jack's truck is awesome.

Everyone and dog
They are gone from beach, no beer
Canoes appeared though.

Open water canoes
SOmeone shoots at them. PADDLE!
Juliet shoots, scores.

Sawyer wants a flash.
You can't always get it right.
Giant frakkin storm!

Claire's mom in LA.
Aaron who? Communism!
Australian herring

Uh oh, it's a trap!
A Rousseau trap and I CALLED IT.
No, see, there she IS!

Man overboard! SPlash!
Wait wait that guy is JIN!
Jin is SO ALIVE!

(This haiku needs a lot of these:

Rousseau was knocked up
So her bb could survive
Crazy French lady!

Ok, and round two.

Ok, tonight I kept doing two things, which you will see reflected in the haikus. One is Arrested Development, and the other is Star Trek. And if you watch either show, you'll know exactly what I mean!

Sun's phone rings. Annyong.
Ji Yeon & Aaron, friends!
Annyong, Ji Yeon!

Ben whips out lgic
Jin's still alive he tells Sun
Staves off death a bit.

Look, there he is! Live!
Oh the numbers on radio
Let's find the tower.

(On second thought, let's not find the tower, tis a silly place.)

Jin's not a tracker
Logic is theme tonight.
March through the jungle.

Here we go again.
Nadie est disparu, NON :(
Jin says, "RUN AWAY!"

Think we found Nadine.
Annoying guy's a goner.
He left us an arm.

Everyone's dumb.
Going down the hole, great plan.
Flash time; Bye Rousseau!

Egyptian glyphs marked
Also someone left the arm there.
Where is the Rousseau?

Smoke on the waterrrrrrrrrrr.
Jin goes to investigate.
Finds the music box.

(Too bad it wasn't playing Deep Purple....or as we'll see, Journey ;)

Rousseau! Bury your dead!
This? why we can't have nice things!
She shoots husband dead.

Crazy French Lady!
Oh, don't ever change, Rousseau.
Jin runs far away.

Flash! Cock of a gun.
Hey it's Sawyer! JIN! Sawyer!
Brothers gotta hug!

Charlotte understands.
Everyone thinks Miles does.
He's from Encino.

Kate sneaks off.
Jack, I mean you there.

Group therapy fails.
Sayid threatens Ben AND Jack.
Bout time someone did.

Time to get in van!
We're off to Faraday!
Sun: Shotgun, No Blitz.

Jin wants to go with
Locke vetoes Jin's good idea
Claims it's a one man job

Charlotte speaks Klingon
Endears herself to Kristen.
She's one of us now.

Charlotte is prophet
This place is death, she exclaims.
HEY! That's the title.

(Otherwise known as Charlotte cheats.)

Sawyer's turn to bleed!
Wait, why Sawyer, and not Locke?
Or why not Jin too?

Jack needs to SHUT UP.
Don't make me pull over here.
Leave Ben alone guys!

See, Ben protector.
He had Sayid off bad guys.
That's a lot of work.

Leave Charlotte Behind.
She says to look for the well.
Daniel stays with her.

They find the Orchid.
Look, it's there, says Juliet.
Well, guess what happens.

Flash, Orchid is gone.
Charlotte's wheel well is here.
Locke's gonna climb down.

Charlotte is Dharma.
The Quest to Find the Island.
Indiana Jones

Oh snap, Daniel's mean.
He told her to get away.
Dan hasn't done it.

No Dharma Subway.
Five dollar, five dollar subs.
Wait, sorry, wrong song.

Locke starts to go off.
The rules I just made up tell me
I have to get them.

Jin gives Locke the ring.
One ring to rule them all. Wait.
Tell Sun I am dead.

Locke can't climb rope.
Missed that Class at Outback School.

flash of light again
Sawyer tries to dig a hole
Going to China.

Charlotte is no more
Quick, Daniel, Klingon death scream.
She gets Sto'Vo'Kor.

Locke's down the wheel well.
he's got more stuff in his leg.
Oh, Hi Christian.

(At least I didn't scream this time when I saw him. Bastard. Always sneaking up on me.)

Harbinger of Death.
Locke has to move the island.
Ben tried, failed badly.

Look, it's off kilter!
Wheel in the hole keeps turning
No wonder it flashes.

Locke gotta find her.
the rat's named for his mom, see?
Very popular.

(This one is kind of rushed, but I couldn't find a way to do these three things better. Can you?)

Christian, help me up!
Locke's fallen and he can't get up.
He's a dickish ghost.